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Eating Jewish: Aranygaluska, or “Hungarian monkey bread”

Earlier this month, The Jew and the Carrot published an article by Leah Koenig entitled “Jewish Dishes We Miss: A Top-10 List of Ashkenazi Foods To Bring Back.” Prior to publishing this list, readers were asked to write in with their own suggestions as to which dishes should go on this list and in the end it was made up of the ...

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Eating Jewish: Apple Cake

I don’t quite know how it happened, but the nights are getting cooler and there’s that feeling of fall in the air. Summer is winding down and with that comes the reds, yellow and orange colors of the changing leaves, thicker sweaters and of course the High Holidays. With the New Year almost upon us, attention is beginning to shift ...

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Eating Jewish: A new twist on Gefilte Fish: Halibut and Salmon Terrine

Gefilte fish, these two words make a lot of people turn their noses up in disgust while it can make others salivate. It is one of those foods, like cilantro or blue cheese, that people either love or hate, with few people falling in between these opposite opinions. For many, gefilte fish evokes images of whitish balls of fish floating ...

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Eating Jewish

You ever learn that Gemara where Bruriah lists all the kosher foods that are stand-ins for non-kosher food, in order to show that even though we are commanded to sanctify ourselves, Judaism isn’t restrictive? What a preachy, party-line, pile of s**t.*There’s this girl I work with who is the nicest, most awesome person I know. I love talking to her ...

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Eating Before Davening

The Gemara teaches us, based on the verse in Vayikra, “Lo tochlu al hadam,” that one may not eat or drink before Shacharit. The Kitzur Shulchan Aruch writes that one who does eat is referred to in the verse, “You have cast me behind your back.”   In Hebrew, the word gabecha (back) can be interchangeably read as geyecha (arrogance). Tending to one’s own physical needs ...

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East Coast Food Cart

A little while back, I blogged about a brand new kosher taco truck in Los Angeles. Needless to say, my mouth has been drooling ever since (It’s pretty embarrassing. I have to carry a handkerchief everywhere I go). But my heart belongs in the East Coast so it is only fair if I do a small feature on a kosher ...

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Dvar Torah Yisro: Like a Barrel

I find it a real challenge to write the weekly divrei Torah for FrumSatire because I sense the audience has exceedingly high demands.  This is not some lame yeshiva day school weekend packet for which unevocative Torah insights are all but sought out.Initially, it sometimes troubles me greatly when readers question my assumptions — but I then suddenly find myself privileged with ...

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Dvar Torah Vayigash: Twist in the Text

Mark Twain, not in possession of the Jewish mesorah, made an interesting comparative assessment of Joseph and Esau in his best-selling work, The Innocents Abroad.Without Rashi as a companion, Jacob very much appears to take advantage of Esau’s hunger to swindle him out of his birthright — whatever that means — only to have Esau complain later on that his brother got ...

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Dvar Torah Vayetzei: Uncle Moishy the Rationalist

This week’s Torah portion opens with Jacob’s dream, and the verses emphasize that Jacob awoke from his sleep frightened and in surprise.   Rashi explains that it was not the prophetic contents of the dream that startled him, but rather, it was that he suddenly realized he had been sleeping in quite the inappropriate location.“In truth, God is in this place ...

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Dvar Torah Vayeira: Secular Charity

Abraham’s self-imposed mission was to spread the Name of God far and wide.Upon his arrival in the Land of Canaan, he built an altar to God opposite the terebinth of Moreh (Genesis 12:6). He then pitched his tent to the east of Beth-El, built another altar, and called out in the Name of the Lord (Genesis 12:8). After returning home ...

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Dvar Torah Vayechi: Jacob Immortal

The start of a new year is a time for resolutions not because there’s anything intrinsic about January 1st that begets rejuvenation, but because there’s an artificial freshness that accompanies the annual changing of the calendar year — as such, I’ve noticed that I’ve lately spun off course and am taking this opportunity to redirect my efforts.Although Heshy gives me ...

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Dvar Torah Tzav: Lackless Desire

In evaluating the purpose of the sacrifices, the following two explanations arise: either the purpose of the sacrifices was to satisfy the needs of the people or of God.R’ Ishmael takes the phrase rei’ach nicho’ach, “a pleasant fragrance” — which shows up 4 times in this week’s parsha (Leviticus 6:8, 6:14, 8:21, 8:28) and 8 times in last week’s (Leviticus 1:9, ...

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