How to Observe Shloshim

Shloshim is a 30 day period of mourning following an intense week of Shiva. Some of the restrictions observed during the shiva week do not apply to shloshim anymore. Mourners can now leave the house and resume working. However, they are still restricted from attending social gatherings and festive occasions. They should also refrain from having a haircut and shaving at this time.

Some other restrictions that are now lifted are:

  • Mourners may now sit on regular chairs.
  • Greeting someone is now allowed.
  • Mourners may now put on lotion, perfume, makeup and even wear jewelries.
  • Marital relations are now allowed.
  • Mourners may resume studying Torah.

The following restrictions should still be observed:

  • Mourners are still not allowed to wear freshly ironed or washed clothes except for undergarments.
  • Mourners should not take a shower. However, if one becomes dirty or sweaty, he may take a quick bath.
  • Mourners should not purchase new furnitures, house or do anything that is not in line with mourning.
  • A family member is not permitted to marry during Shloshim.

After thirty days, the official period of mourning ends. Mourners can now resume with their daily activities. Kaddish may no longer be recited. Resuming to our daily activities will help us achieve emotional healing. Judaism acknowledges that the pain brought about by the death of a loved one may be healed through time. The different stages of mourning allow us to mourn over our loss while at the same time coping up with the pain.

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