Kill the Soccer Shofars Now!

IS ANYONE ELSE SUFFERING FROM TINNITUS FROM WATCHING WORLD CUP? El Yenta Man has had the volume turned up from dawn ‘til dawn on various soccer matches all week and normally, I’m not one to object to sexy men of all global flavors kicking and sweating. And though I’ve always appreciated the drunken enthusiasm displayed by football fans worldwide, I’m about to book a midnight flight to South Africa just so I can grab up all those GAWDAMN PLASTIC HORNS AND SHOVE THEM WHERE THE SUN DON’T SHINE.


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