How do you Play Jewish Geography?

Living in San Francisco makes playing Jewish geography much more difficult. Besides for dealing with the average frummies negative feelings towards SF, I have to deal with most frummies thinking that SF and LA are right next to each (in a similar vein that New Yorkers thought Rochester was in some way the same thing as Westchester) Then I have to go through my entire life of moving to end up at some sort of success at Jewish geography. Here’s how I go about playing the game:

If I don’t want the conversation to end before it has even begun I have to make it a two part answer. First I have to say that I live in San Francisco, I also have to make sure to mention that it’s a black hole of Judaism and take some crack at the Gays or Liberals (better if you do both at once) and then I have to say that I’m originally from New York. Of course this makes the entire conversation that much more complicated. You see, Jewish Geography is a necessary evil of the frum community and for some people it just leads to a whole mess of things.