Eight Worst Mikvah Ladies

In honor of the marriage of Heshy and Chaya I wanted to share with you my top eight worst Mikva Lady experiences.

1. The Talkative Town Yenta. Lady, please stop talking! I show up once a month and I don’t want to hear what happened to you over the last four weeks.  I certainly don’t want to tell you what’s going on with me either. You are just going to tell everyone else. I know you are because you tell me what’s going on with the other women in the community.  I don’t care who stopped going to Mikvah.  I don’t care who is getting heavier these days. Please just let me dunk in peace.

2. She doesn’t want to be there. Sometimes you are lucky and you don’t get the yenta.  Instead you get the mom who clearly does not want to be there. She shows up late and barely looks you over. Half the time she’s texting her kids, and can’t wait for you to get out of there. Nothing like a rushed mikva to prepare you for a rushed quickie at home.  Hey, it it is any consolation, I’d rather be home also.

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