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Brave girl agrees to post her shidduch resume on Frum Satire

Brave girl agrees to post her shidduch resume on Frum Satire

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I put the call out on Facebook for anyone who wishes to post their real/fake/funny or otherwise serious shidduch profile on my site can do so. I have heard several people tell me that they would like a guy/girl who has a good sense of humor or likes this site ( I was one time honored when my friend told me he was out on a date and the girl was very offended when he asked her if …

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Shidduch Market goes wild after OMG ban

The shidduch market has been taking a wild ride this week after Rav Ovadia Yosef announced that Jews should never say “oh my God”. The ban sent shidduch markets around the world into a wild downturn as folks in shidduchim tried to erase any evidence of them ever having said oh my God, oh my Gosh or OMG. OnlySimchas.com went down while girls scrambled to erase hundreds of thousands of OMG …

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NYPD Takes Immediate Action After Officer Demands Jewish Pedestrian Write On Shabbos

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A troubling incident occurred on Friday night between an NYPD Officer, and a member of Brooklyn’s Orthodox Jewish Community, FlatbushScoop.com has learned exclusively. On Friday night, an individual was walking to his home (in the southern part of Brooklyn) and had just crossed a street, when he was stopped by two officers in a marked patrol car.

They asked him for his …

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Apparently I’m not frum – but who really is these days?

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I made a comment yesterday about how I wouldn’t date the girl who posted the shidduch resume, but I would be down with making out and I’m sure most anyone would, why not, a little tongue slurping with some cute girl is always fun – I happened to have been fooling around.

I don;t just make out with random girls – I find kissing to be incredibly romantic and save it for …

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Shidduch Secrets

Leah Jacobs, Shaindy Marks

Publisher: Artscroll

If finding your bashert is frustrating to you, you’re not alone. There is so much confusion and angst, with everyone giving contradictory advice.

Finally, there is somewhere to turn that walks you through the entire dating process step-by-step. Shidduch Secrets is filled with true stories of real people who, using the secrets in this book, have found their marriage match.

Co-authors Leah Jacobs and Shaindy Marks, both seasoned …

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You Never Call! You Never Write!: A History of the Jewish Mother

Joyce Antler

Publisher: Oxford University Press

In You Never Call, You Never Write, Joyce Antler provides an illuminating and often amusing history of one of the best-known figures in popular culture–the Jewish Mother. Whether drawn as self-sacrificing or manipulative, in countless films, novels, radio and television programs, stand-up comedy, and psychological and historical studies, she appears as a colossal figure, intensely involved in the lives of her children. …

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Shidduch Crisis: Causes and Cures

Dr. Michael J. Salamon

Publisher: Urim Publications

The Shidduch Crisis: Causes and Cures takes a hard, honest look at the real difficulties faced by the dating public in today’s Orthodox world. With the rates of divorce and eating disorders rising, complaints regarding the shortage of men and the move away from socializing activities to the extensive use of third-party matchmakers, a true crisis exists and may be worsening. In this book, the …

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Eating Jewish: Oznei Haman (Haman’s Ears)

… are Hamantaschen (this blog has featured two great recipes this week that I definitely have to try), but in this post I want to write about the lesser known treat of Oznei Haman, also known as Haman’s ears. After a bit of Internet research, I realized that many people also know Hamantaschen as Haman’s ears, and thus the two are thought to be one and the same.

Yet, as can be seen from my picture of this Purim dessert, they are completely different from Hamantaschen. What they …

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Why I Suddenly Understand Queen Esther

Sometimes I wonder what I would write about if I wasn’t Jewish and my mother hadn’t died. It’s kind of a weird question to ask yourself–what would you be like if you lost the central points of your identity? (I recognize that it sounds weird that my mother’s death counts as a central point of my identity, but to be completely honest, it was a life-changing event.

I think it’s fair (if depressing) to say that …

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Jews Sweep Worst Cooks in America Series!

Joshie the Jew (formerly Hassidic Jew) is on the finale of Worst Cooks in America as I write tonight. What has Chef Anne Burrell chosen for  Joshie to make for an entrée?  A PORK CHOP with FENNEL SAUSAGE. C’mon, Chef Anne.

Have you no mercy?  A double treif header? Last season (season 1), a nice Jewess by the name of Rachel Coleman won the whole competition with, what else, a PORK dish. FYI, Rachel is a blogger for Jewcy.com, look her up!

Read More: @ chron.com



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Too Jewish—New Ebook Release

… new novel, Too Jewish, has been released by ebook publisher booksBnimble. Too Jewish marks a departure from Friedmann’s earlier works and is drawn from her own experiences growing up in Uptown New Orleans. Friedmann vividly describes why “This is the book I was born to write”, in the attached video.

www.youtube.com/user/booksBnimble

Too Jewish is an emotional look at the story of a family forever shadowed by the Holocaust. Young Bernard Kupik, a young, well-educated …

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Yes, Jews Owned Slaves

… some interesting feedback. Some of it has been from the various curmudgeons of my life (here’s a tip: if you have a serious commentary, feel free to write a letter to the editor.

If you don’t like how something was worded…move on) and some of it has been from nice and not-so-nice strangers, wanting to remind me gently or not-so-gently that the Jewish community I wrote about depended on slave labor.

Read More: @ myjewishlearning.com

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The most annoying frum Jews

There are a lot of different sects and sub groups within orthodoxy and some of them are quite annoying, this post came out of the idea I had to write about whether Messianic (Yechi) chabadnicks or Nannach Bresslovers were more annoying, but then I realized that there are loads of others that can make the list.

Nanach Bresslovers: I can understand that jumping out of a van in the middle of a

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The Stranger’s Notebook

… time cheered me up, it wasn’t until I met Nomi Stone that I truly got out of my funk. Nomi is a poet and a scholar who was in Tunisia on a Fulbright.

Her project was to research and write a book of poems about the Jews of Djerba (a desert island off the southern coast of Tunisia), which is exactly what she did. The fruits of her year in Tunisia, The Stranger’s Notebook, was published by TriQuarterly Press in 2008 and it is just amazing.

Read More: @ myjewishlearning.com

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Haredi ads claim internet causes cancer

I’m not feeling well enough to write satire honestly, but news like this couldn’t wait. Thanks to Gila who sent me the following piece from Ynet News, which really makes me wonder if these people aren’t crack. I completely understand the fear of the internet, the fear that many leaders have of losing control of their flocks once they educate themselves.

The fear of pritzus and secular society is very warranted …

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The Star-K will no longer pay you to marry older girls

The Star-K’s shidduch incentive program was hailed as brilliant when it first hit the mean streets of Baltimore. You see, Baltimore was suffering from a brain drain of sorts, the guys all left to New York and New Yorkers have long deemed Baltimore girls with that fretful status of GU – Geographically Undesirable, that left an abundance of aging girls who weren’t spring chickens anymore stuck in …

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One of the best thank notes I’ve ever recieved

Typically, when someone writes me a “thank you note” they do it in a sentence or two, thanks for making me laugh and so on. Appreciation is nice, but it’s even nicer and more inspiring when they tell me why I’ve made their lives better, makes me feel like I’m actually doing something with this whole blogging thing. I received this note over facebook the other day and it made me feel real good.

Heshy,

I wanted …

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Dvar Torah Yisro: Like a Barrel

I find it a real challenge to write the weekly divrei Torah for FrumSatire because I sense the audience has exceedingly high demands.  This is not some lame yeshiva day school weekend packet for which unevocative Torah insights are all but sought out.

Initially, it sometimes troubles me greatly when readers question my assumptions — but I then suddenly find myself privileged with new …

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The Giving Tree for Tu Bishvat

Ten years ago I was asked by the editor of the journal Conservative Judaism to write about my favorite book from my childhood. There was no question I would write about Shel Silverstein’s The Giving Tree. In honor of the Jewish holiday of Tu Bishvat — the birthday of the trees — I republish those words on this blog.

The Giving Tree

“And then the tree was happy… But not really.” Ever since I made the decision to become a rabbi several years ago, I have …

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Girls are so much easier than guys!

Girls are so much easier than guys!

To set up that is, I’m constantly thinking about people I can set up and I have come to the conclusion that girls are so much easier to set up than guys. In fact, while checking my hot bod out in spandex today I was thinking that the shidduch crisis may be more about the lack of guys who actually go out, rather than the amount of them. I have loads of single guy friends, but they are all …

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Bob Dylan and Cher: Together at Last

If you love Bob Dylan and the Band — or, indeed, if you’re a huge fan of Cher — this picture might come as a shock to you. Be prepared.

It’s no Photoshop conspiracy: Dylan, performing with the band that would later become The Band, performing a duet with the ex-wife of Republican congressman Sonny Bono.

Literary-scene honcho and JBooks.com head scribe Ken Gordon (who also wrote some great stuff for our site) runs a reading series called …

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Frum dating websites create the Mamzer category

Mamzerim have it tough, many people who consider themselves another statistic of the shidduch crisis don;t really have it bad, they are just too picky, but what’s a guy or girl to do if they don’t have the same choice that everyone else has? Frumster and other dating sites like Saw You At Sinai and Jwed have decided to add a category for mamzerim who are wishing to find their mates.

Traditionally mamzerim were limited to mamzer-only dating events and most of the people …

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Eating Jewish: Moroccan chicken with olives and lemons

My inspiration for the dishes I write about on Eating Jewish come from a variety of places that range from the numerous cookbooks that I have around my apartment, articles concerning Jewish food in newspapers and magazines, or simply the ingredients that I happen to have on hand at the moment. However, for this dish my inspiration came from my own academic work concerning the Moroccan Jewish community of Montreal.

My …

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The real reason why movies are assur

I was joking tonight with a friend of mine who lives in a small town and will be hosting a girl he’s shidduch dating for about a week and about how the Rabbi wouldn’t be so into him going to the movies with her because it’s untznius. He said he doesn’t go to movies anyway, but that the Rabbi wasn’t necessarily against movies per se, but he didn’t really get what I meant.

Many people think that movies …

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Let’s Ham It Up On Hanukkah (Again!)

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Just like the return of the clothing fashion styles of yesteryear, many things on the Web tend to make a comeback too. It seems like every few years the same hoaxes, urban legends, videos, jokes and funny photos get recycled around Cyberspace.

I noticed that this is the case with a photo of ham — yes, ham! Through Facebook, hundreds of users are recirculating the …

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Is friday night sex really a double mitzvah?

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So here is something I’ve always wondered, but never had the guts to actually ask anyone.  Maybe it’s common knowledge.  I didn’t go to yeshiva, so there’s a lot I don’t know.  WHY is it a mitzvah (double mitzvah, I’ve heard said) to have sex on Friday night?

My understanding is that HaShem STOPPED creating life on the 7th day.  Somehow it doesn’t make sense …

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Greet Your Loved Ones by Sending Hanukkah Cards

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Aside from giving gifts, sending greeting cards during Hanukkah is also a thoughtful way to show your loved ones how much you care. Hanukkah for this year starts from December 1 to 9, 2010. Make sure that you send out your Hanukkah card in time so that it will arrive to the recipient within the Hanukkah week.

You can buy a Hanukkah card or make your own. Write a meaningful …

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Are you a kiddush hoverer?

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Once in a while I ask for post ideas on Facebook and someone actually has a good idea, rarely does this happen, it’s almost as if asking for ideas reinforces the belief that I actually have good ideas to write about because it seems most people can’t really come up with anything. So what’s the deal with kiddush hoverers?

This isn’t going to be a long post, it’s more …

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Dreidel Card for Hanukkah

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Spread Hanukkah cheers by making your very own Hanukkah dreidel card. Personalized Hanukkah cards add meaning to the celebration of the holiday. It will show how special the recipient is to you.

For this project, you need scrapbook papers, cardboard, scissors, glue, colored pens and glitters.

Make a card from the cardboard by cutting a 8.5×11 inches rectangle.

Using colored …

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Yossi Green’s 8th Note Takes To The Skies

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In what may be a first for the mainstream Jewish music market, composer Yossi Green confirms that British Airways will be featuring his 8th Note CD on most of their flights as of February 1, 2011.

Green recalls that in his early days, he fantasized about writing music that was so good it could cross over and be accepted into the secular world.  Realizing that his goal was …

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